Whores & Nerds: Part I
September 11th, 2005 by Adam
I love the inevitability of change. I get off on it. Political pundits and social commentators spend copious amounts of time lambasting ‘loosening morals’ or attacking social change, yet these changes happen anyway. And in an world which is changing at an infinitely rapid pace, it’s simply not possible for society (and therefore morality) to ever be static. The borders are constantly shifting, and once these ‘awful’ changes have occurred and society accepts them, a new morality is born—one that fits contemporary social reality. In thinking about the nature of power in this post-modern, consumerist, technology-driven society and who is destined to survive and thrive in this turbulent climate, I realized something very important: when all is said and done, whores and nerds will run the earth. Believe me, I’ve played this scenario over in my head a million times and it always ends the same way.
This is a tale in two parts, so first: Whoredom.
Simply put, prostitution has been around forever, but for the vast majority of history the women themselves had scant chance to benefit or profit from their profession. It’s no different in the modern age necessarily, and the profession is still maligned, yet despite liberal and conservative attempts alike to stuff society into some sort of moral cocoon and box up our natural instincts in order to preserve power and “protect” us from our own impulses, mankind always prevails. And in an increasingly conservative era I rejoice in the fact that the world’s oldest profession has undergone a major transformation: the whores got smart!
The internet has revolutionized the way we view our world, and not since Heidi Fleiss has prostitution been so well organized, brazen and run by the whores themselves! Gone are the days when being a hooker meant you were constantly harassed, attacked, controlled by pimps and in serious danger. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Jenni, just one of a new breed of women who are getting their shit together and using their talents and intelligence to greater advantage. With a mission statement like “I enjoy entertaining men, women and couples alike, whether it’s a night on the town or an intimate evening alone” It’s more than obvious she’s a whore. And as luck would have it, “I also have some really hot friends who love to help me entertain!! Whether for a bachelor party… or to fulfill some long time fantasies with us and you alone, we are ready for fun.”
What’s truly beautiful is that on the Rates/Donations page it specifically states that “donations do not constitute an offer of prostitution. All donations are for time and companionship only. Anything else that may transpire is between two consenting adults.” She’s peddling sex, yet can’t get in trouble for flouting morality because this new breed of whore has taken advantage of the biggest loophole in the argument against prostitution—that it’s illegal to sell what you can give away for free. So Jenni doesn’t charge for sex. She charges for companionship– the S&M and blowjobs are gratis! And if you want to study up on her services, just head over to The Erotic Review and read up on hundreds of girls, right down to an itemized list of the sexual acts they perform. Looking for tail has never been easier, and the situation never more profitable.
God I love America.
The beauty of the system is that anyone with an internet connection is a potential customer, yet interested parties have to go through a screening process and phone interview before laying eyes on Jenni—and with the money she charges, she can afford the best in bodily protection. She no longer needs a pimp to get her customers and ‘protect’ her. Her body is not in imminent danger and she gets paid up front by credit card so there’s no risk of getting fucked and not getting paid. Sex has been a commodity for as long as human society has existed, yet for the first time in history women are capable of controlling, regulating and profiting off that commodity in a way that would have been impossible fifty or fifteen-hundred years ago. The world wide web has given whoredom a powerful new tool, and the smarter whores will use it to their advantage—protecting their bodies and wallets, maintaining a steady influx of clients, and raising the ideal of a prostitute beyond some back alley crack-whore you can bend over a trash can for 20$ a pop.
At any point in time America could have followed the lead of Canada, the Netherlands and various other countries in regulating prostitution: keeping the profession relatively clean and organized and making enough money to pay off that pesky national debt in a matter of years (Hey Rumsfeld, maybe we could even afford the army we want). But Uncle Sam’s loss will be the whore’s gain when they learn to regulate themselves and all that sweet, sweet money is used to buy summer homes and expensive outfits for women that society once burned at the stake for their “crime against nature”. Whoredom has proved time and time again it’s ability to transcend economic, social, and political change. Like cockroaches after a nuclear war, society could no more eliminate whoredom than it could eliminate Starbuck’s.
The whores are organizing, and I applaud their efforts. But personally, if I felt like donating 500$ to some pretty female in exchange for free sexual favors, I’d be out looking for my next ex.
More to come,
Adam
I think you should specify a little more when talking about prostitutes not “profiting” until now. I would say that it was the concept of chivalrous love (around the 12th century from Arabs, I believe) that really ended the profiting. Up until then, some women were profiting, maybe not in money, but by receiving food, housing, protection, etc. Then with the whole new “love” concept men said, “now you have to do it because you like us” and came up with all that crap about “rich and poor. in sickness and in health.”
As for the prostitutes themselves, as long as they don’t try to edge out the amatuer competition I’m highly supportive of their entrepreneurship. Creative accounting shouldn’t just be for middle-aged white men.
(note to others: I’m really a very nice guy and, though she hasn’t read this comment yet, in a stable and caring relationship.)
Obviously women have ‘profited’ in some form ever since they first sold their bodies, whether that compensation was food and shelter, cash for baby formula, or for their next crack fix. I was a little lax in specificity, but that was more a convention of editing (I try to keep these things under 1,000 words).
Though the idea of chivalrous love, once it made it into European ideology, probably played a role, I think the Protestant Reformation REALLY ended the mass marketing of the female body. Up until then it was common practice for Catholic priests to keep multiple concubines for a small fee to the church, and Catholic men could have as many concubines around their household as they wanted so long as they paid their dispensations to the church. In a weird way the Catholic church was a basically a pimp for clergy and the European aristocracy for nearly a millenia. (Thank you marriage research for all the ridiculous knowledge about sex, money and love in the middle ages.)
My point remains that internet-style whoredom gives women a chance to profit on a previously unheard of scale. Jenni (amongst others) was ingenious enough to set up a system where men have to actively seek her out and jump through hoops for sex. She can (hopefully) weed out the weirdos and pricks and only cater to a much more savvy and wealthy clientele that probably wouldn’t have access to her if she was just another street corner girl in Hollywood. Access is the key because it gives her greater choice in picking her nightly partners. Plus she’s safer, healthier and hopefully happier. Though societal hyper-sexualization of women has some decidedly negative affects, some women WANT to prostitute themselves because they LIKE it or because the money is EXCELLENT if you do it right.
Quote that comes to mind:
“So you think I’m an asshole… and you’re probably right” –Conor Oberst
(note to others: Ben is a very nice guy…)
I totaly agree with Adams points on the internet being a heavy medium used for women to prositute themselves. A friend of mine who is recently divorced has made a common habbit of visiting Escorts from time to time just to get his fix I guess, and was just showing me how the escort community has grown, and grown to a point that we can even call it a community today. Now there are many places someone can seek out a woman, he sent me to two sites that I never even realizded existed. The first one was the TnA Review which showcased many escort reviews. And the second one was Eros Guide these two sites pretty much cover the entire United States, and even some of Europe. I have to say that the women that were on Eros were amazingly good looking, and many of them looked like models.
It seems to me that the internet has facilitated this type of woman to head into the industry becasue of the ease of access. I know thats why my divorced friend went into it. He would never pick up a street corner hooker, as Im sure many of these girls would choose other avenues of making a living if the internet wasnt there to provide them the medium.