Whores & Nerds: Part II
October 18th, 2005 by Adam
We’ve established that prostitution is an immutable part of human society and will exist regardless of the social atmosphere, but let’s face it: whores don’t hold public office. Whores don’t (typically) have the knowledge to do much more than whore around, and no matter how good they are at that, should their computers break or taxes need filing or they need creative ways to expand their enterprises, they’re (metaphorically) screwed. Nay, though prostitutes are destined to reap the benefits of inevitable social change, they will not lead that brave new world. Nor will career politicians, religious leaders, car salesmen, cowboys, hired goons, poets, pirates, movie stars, musicians or hack internet writers. Not the biggest or strongest, most eloquent or attractive, but this guy–
No one can deny his innate power; nor the fact that we live in a nation where the richest and most successful people are progressively becoming the nerdiest. But it wasn’t always this way– for most of recorded history intelligence has been consigned to a position of importance somewhere in the distance behind strength, good looks, character, charisma and a dozen other personality traits. Given the conventions of social history this makes sense because let’s face it— the socially inept, as a general rule, aren’t able to gain much social prestige outside a small, selective circle. Nerdy people used to be relegated to scientific positions where they labored their whole lives over formulas and theories that would never gain them wide recognition. The most brilliant analytical minds of previous generations rarely attained wide renown, and when they did, rarely profited from the fruits of their labor.
But modern society has altered our perceptions of what ‘strength’ entails, and the internet has revolutionized the way we work, think and live, changing fundamentally the way we view intellect. The ultra-smart are not only able to become scientists and theorists: they are able to steal your credit card numbers, your ATM pin, your entire identity if they so choose, and nothing that Norton Piece-of-shit Anti-Virus can throw at them will stop someone intent on destroying you. The Pentagon has been hacked; the FBI; the State Department; the list goes on and on. The problem is so real that the federal government has been forced to hire their own teams of hackers whose job is to find ways to exploit the system, and ways to keep that from happening. In today’s society, nerds can be our best friend or our worst enemy.
Bill Gates chose the more benevolent route (arguably), but this only proves that riches and renown are possible anyway you slice it so long as intelligence and ingenuity are involved. Nerds are able to become stock market millionaires, savvy online businessmen, or inventors with a whole new market waiting to consume their cheaply advertised goods. Nerds are valued not for what they do, but for what they know and what they are able to do with that knowledge, whether it be to corner the market in software, recognize a need created by the vastness of cyberspace and fill it, or illegally download and distribute billions of dollars worth of music, movies and applications. Nerds will achieve and maintain this power because apathy is the disease of the masses and most people are perfectly content to not know, to pay someone else to fix their problems, comfortable behind the false security of AOL pop-up blocker.
The truth is that the next twisted, anti-social genius is out there in cyberspace right now: most likely running several computers at once, reading every available scrap of literature on every piece of software to hit the market, and playing online games in their spare time— which brings us to an important aspect of what the internet has done for nerds at large: Online gaming.
Since the advent of Pong people have been ridiculed as gaming nerds, but the world wide web has altered the context, applications, and ramifications of that instinct to understand, control and ‘beat’ a system. Whereas I ‘beat’ Mario 3 as a child and was greeted with a colorful screen signifying my achievement, an internet geek today who ‘beats’ the Department of Justice with their hacking prowess has just accessed and unleashed an unbelievable amount of power and information. My warning cry is to not dismiss internet gamers as pathetic individuals who can’t cut it in the ‘real’ world. Make no mistake: the internet is rapidly becoming the real world.
Games like World of Warcraft, Counter-Strike, Battlefield II, and Unreal Tournament attract hundreds of thousands of participants world-wide. The teenagers who play and win these games are the same people who have unbelievably specialized knowledge; who can run entire servers, hack any program ever created, and pirate software, movies and music in ways untraceable to any law enforcement body. They can control and manipulate the internet and anything on it: government agencies, banks, insurance companies, sensitive data from across the globe, and all of your personal information. With just their brains, a computer, a two-liter bottle of Dr. Pepper and a continuous tape of Metallica’s “Enter Sandman” playing they are able to obtain every documented scrap of information on your entire life— and Tipper Gore is still worried about Grand Theft Auto?
Moreover, I would like to defend internet gaming because I think it’s incredibly important for young people to have a place to go that is ‘theirs’; where they can control their universe; where their nerdy talents are recognized widely. Much like urban slang, the online community has developed its own ‘L337’ language where opponents are ‘pwnted’, ‘N00bs’ are despised, and ‘h4×0r’ can be a high complement or terrific insult. In the world of online gaming excellent social skills are not required to win time and time again– you are judged only on the quickness of your brain and your fingers.
The point of this diatribe is that the internet, and with it computer gaming, is the new frontier of genius. Granted, many of these kids and young adults learning to control and exploit technology are destined to be socially crippled burnout pot heads, but many others are simply cutting their teeth in competition, gaining knowledge of the farthest boundaries of technology, and gaining invaluable self-confidence that the social zeitgeist of the 1950s would never have allowed nerds to possess. That confidence gleaned online can be translated to confidence in all aspects of life, giving the nerds yet another edge on all the rest of us, and among that pack of nerdy rabble that surf the internet while you sleep soundly at night are individuals with the ability to ruin your life regardless of how strong, rich and well armed you are. Say what you will but Bob Dylan had it right all along—the times they are a changin’— and if we can’t change with them, the whores and nerds will own us all.
Far from being smart enough to achieve these nerdy ends of riches and renown on my own, I nevertheless understand the inevitability of such a change, and when the revolution happens—I’ll be riding on the coattails of these cats.
Fuck ya’ll, I’m doin’ PR for the New Nerd Order.
w00t,
Hitler Was A Shitty Painter
(Adam)